Mmmkay.

I’m currently holding a 753-day streak on Duolingo, and absolutely nothing about it is automatic. Some nights, I’m in bed with my phone in my hand, having put my lesson off until the very last minute (again), proclaiming to my husband I’m just going to quit the whole thing, then end up hurrying through it just to keep my streak. Which requires me to check in with myself and ask, “Am I actually getting something positive out of this, or is it just creating unnecessary pressure and stress for no real reason?”

The verdict is still out.

I’ve also got a little over a year-long streak going on the Finch app, which thankfully doesn’t trigger the same stress and pressure as Duolingo. It is just simple and cute enough to keep me engaged. I don’t pay too much attention to the specific habit or goal streaks, just the days I’ve checked in and sent my lil birb on an adventure. Though you really can get as in-depth as you’d like to track your habits and goals. I don’t overload my goals with a ton of difficult tasks. One of which is literally just “get out of bed” because I get to start my day checking off a box, telling myself, “way to go, you! You got up, and that’s worth celebrating.” It’s a low-pressure and low-consequences win.

I use it every day, and it’s still not automatic. Sometimes I’m getting ready for bed and realize I never sent my birb out, and I have to check in and remember all of the tasks I completed that day, then off she goes adventuring while I sleep.

It helps keep me headed in the right direction, but none of it is automatic, and I can’t imagine it ever will be.

Do you have any current streaks going? Do you find them mindless or automatic?

Stay kind. Stay curious. <3

Nikki

Hey Look! A cool plant!

The Ghost Pipe

(Monotropa uniflora)

Why it’s cool: This plant is completely white because it has no chlorophyll. It doesn’t need the sun to make food. The Ghost Pipe is a parasite to mycorrhizal fungi in forest soils, meaning that it draws nutrients from those fungi, while those fungi get what they need from the trees in the forest in a pretty rad symbiotic relationship. It thrives in the deepest, darkest parts of the forest where other plants wouldn’t survive.

The Lesson: There is more than one way to thrive. Just because you aren’t doing it the way everyone else seems to be doing it doesn’t mean you aren’t growing beautifully in your own way.

Some things I found interesting and thought you might too

• “Eventually, it becomes you,” says the inventors of a new ‘living’ knee replacement, composed of a biodegradable 3D printed scaffold packed with stem-cell-derived bone and cartilage.

• Research says that adults who have no close friends aren’t necessarily antisocial or unlikable, but “compulsively self-reliant.”

• New Zealand’s critically endangered kākāpō, known as the world’s fattest parrot, has achieved the most successful breeding season on record.

  

Tip Jar <3

I had a prominent one the other day, where I felt like I needed to capture that “snapshot” moment. I was in my yard in the sunshine, wearing a bikini, enjoying a slight breeze, drinking coffee out of a mug with a unicorn on it, and painting a seashell that I found with nail polish. My dog slept under my chair, birds sang above me, and I could hear horse clops on the road outside of my fence, and the faint music of my husband playing guitar in the house, which I knew meant nothing was on fire inside. Nothing needed my direct attention. In that moment, I was okay. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, and I’d never expect it to, but for that moment, things were fine. Good even.

It’s important to note these moments because they are proof that life is never all bad. So the next time you’re having a tough time and just want to scream out, “My life is shit!” Remember these moments, and instead scream out, “My life is sometimes shit and the hard moments sure suck, but I know that I’ve had good moments before and accept that I am likely to have more in the future!” Which, admittedly, may not roll off the tongue as easily, but at least it’s true.

Stay kind. Stay curious <3

Nikki

Hey Look! A cool plant!

The Sensitive Plant

(Mimosa pudica)

Why it’s cool: This plant is essentially the botanical poster child for a "startle response." When it’s touched, shaken, or even feels a particularly strong gust of wind, its leaves fold inward and the entire branch droops as if it’s wilting. Once the threat has passed, the plant perks back up fairly quickly, within minutes, as seen here in this timelapse.

It’s utilizing a highly evolved defense mechanism called seismonastic movement. By folding up, the plant makes itself look smaller and less appetizing to predators. Researchers have found that these plants can actually learn. If they are repeatedly exposed to a stimulus that is scary but not actually harmful, they eventually stop folding, learning that they are safe and can stay open even in a busy environment.

The lesson: Most of us can relate to the Sensitive Plant, I think. When we face fear, especially of rejection, judgment, or failure, our instinct is to curl up and protect our softest, most vulnerable parts.

It’s a valid way to stay safe until the threat passes, and like the plant, we can learn to distinguish between a real threat and just a scary-feeling gust of wind. As we practice being unmasked and authentic, we teach our brain that it’s safe to stay open and catch the sun.

Some things I found interesting and thought you might too

• Scientists discovered that rats actually emit tiny "giggles" when tickled, helping researchers map out the specific part of the brain that controls laughter and play

• These resilient trees don't just survive in salt water; they act as living time capsules, trapping sediment and history within their roots to protect our coastlines from the changing tides.

• A tiny parasite found in cats, Toxoplasma gondii, has the bizarre ability to rewire the brains of mice (and potentially humans) to make them less fearful and more impulsive.

Tip Jar <3

Does that mean it’s easy to let go of all the “shoulds” I carry around like a bulging sack of rocks? Um, nope. But I am aware of it, and that’s a start, right? Sometimes I’m even able to recognize something that I can put down and stop worrying about. It’s a slow-going process full of all kinds of twists and obstacles. Fun stuff, really, like a roller coaster that is in desperate need of some maintenance.

Finishing up our spring break and trying to get the kid re-motivated for school has had the concept of transitions heavy on my mind lately. It’s something we, as a neurodiverse household, all struggle with. I was very conscious of that when the first Monday back to school came around.

We tried to ease the kid in the best we could with a low-stress, low-pressure first day where we focused on “life skills” and ran a few errands, including shopping for a new pair of shoes for him. It worked even better than expected; there were no meltdowns, and no complaints about getting back into a more structured routine.

It reminded me that doing things at our own speed is not only okay but necessary. We could have just started the week with a load of worksheets and projects to hop back into, but that would have been incredibly counter-productive for absolutely no reason. We got to skip the period of frustration and overwhelm and just gently restart.

That’s how every Monday should feel, yeah?

Wishing you all a gentle restart for your next week ahead.

Stay kind. Stay curious <3

Nikki

Hey Look! A cool plant!

The Air Plant

(Tillandsia)

Why it’s cool: Air plants are the ultimate "low-demand" companions. They don't need soil to thrive; they gather all of the moisture and nutrients they need from the air through tiny vessels on their leaves called trichomes. They are masters of making a home anywhere. Without needing deep roots, they simply lean into what’s available, clinging to bark, bare stone, or wires.

The lesson: Sometimes, we feel like we can't grow because we don't have the right environment or a solid foundation beneath us. The air plant reminds us that we can find nourishment in the invisible spaces. Even when it feels like there’s nothing there, you’re still breathing, still absorbing, and still alive. You don't always need a massive overhaul to survive; sometimes, just existing in the space you're in is enough.

Some things I found interesting and thought you might too

• Trees emit organic compounds called phytoncides to protect themselves, but when we breathe them in, they actually lower our cortisol and boost our immune system.

• Science shows that being near “blue space” (water) triggers a mild meditative state in our brains, helping us shift out of fight or flight mode.

• Research shows that hearing aids can reduce your risk of death by almost 25 per cent. I assumed it was a safety thing. It’s not.

Tip Jar <3

I’ve recently realized that I may have never actually learned how to have fun and be silly without booze. I don’t think I ever figured out how to overcome the intense fear of looking silly or the heavy RSD I struggle so much with. I’ve just always used alcohol because, frankly, it worked really well in those areas.

Being a mother helps; it’s not as difficult for me to be silly and playful with my child. I want him to see me as an adult who isn’t afraid to be joyful, someone who doesn’t care what the world thinks. He deserves to see that “unmasked” happiness. I want to plant those seeds for him now so he doesn’t have to figure it out as an adult.

So I have to actively work on it. I practice with him, I do things out of my comfort zone, like talk a little louder sometimes, use a silly voice, or dance like a funky chicken. And every time I do, something vital heals inside of me. I’m teaching my body it is safe when I allow myself to take off all of my masks and let go of my fears of judgment and rejection.

I never thought I’d be in my 40s learning how to have fun, but here I am. Still growing, still becoming. That’s actually pretty cool.

The other day, I asked my son to come outside and play with the water hose with me. We’ve been watching The Middle, and there was a scene where the mom was trying to convince her children (unsuccessfully) how much fun it was to run through the sprinkler by hopping through it with an exaggerated “whee!” I decided to try it. I ran through the water, genuinely enjoying the cool mist and the silliness of it all. Then my son said to me, “I know why you did it. Because it was fun.” It felt like leveling up! Not only did I get to experience real fun with my child, but he acknowledged the whole point of it and had a fun time himself. (And I even managed to capture it on video so I can watch it every time I wonder if what I’m doing is working. See below!)

Growth can be such a messy, uncomfortable, complicated process, but dang it’s beautiful when you get to see the progress.

Stay kind. Stay curious <3

Nikki

Hey look! A cool plant!

The Coleus

(Plectranthus scutellarioides)

Why it’s cool: The Coleus is a staple in many gardens because of its beautiful, bright colors, but it has a little quirk: as it grows, it eventually tries to produce tiny, purple flowers at the very top. While those flowers are pretty, they come with a cost. If you let them grow, the plant pours all of its energy into those blooms. As a result, those brilliant, colorful leaves start to fade, the stems become weak and “leggy,” and the plant eventually stops thriving and dies.

To keep a Coleus vibrant, you have to snip the blooms off. By removing the flowers, you are gently telling the plant to stop redirecting its life force toward something flashy and temporary, and instead, pull that energy back into its core.

The Lesson: It reminds us that not everything we produce, especially the things that look pretty to the outside world, is worth our limited time and energy. Sometimes, we spend so much effort on the “flowers” like the masks we wear, the people-pleasing, or the things that make us look successful to others, that our own vibrant colors begin to fade. We become overextended and exhausted because we’re pouring our hearts into the wrong things.

It might feel counterintuitive to let go of something that looks like growth, but you’re actually protecting your precious resources. When you stop wasting energy on the temporary stuff, you can redirect it back into your true self. You aren’t losing anything; you’re choosing to thrive.

Some things I found interesting and thought you might too

• Scientists found that our brains emit ultra-weak sparks of light. You are quite literally glowing from the inside out, and don’t you forget it.

• Listening to birdsong can significantly lower our stress and anxiety, offering a simple and natural way to improve our mental well-being. Thanks, birds!

• Exploring the physics of flight reveals that for a human to soar like a bird, we would need wings stretching over twenty feet wide and muscles so massive they would change our entire shape.

• Even when you read in total silence, your brain is busy sending tiny electrical impulses to your vocal cords, making your throat muscles move as if you were speaking the words out loud.

Propagating Self-Love Tip Jar

There’s a very specific, heavy type of shame that lives in the reset, isn’t there? The kind that we use as an excuse to beat ourselves up. Again. Whether it’s a self-care habit we’re trying our hardest to build and just can’t seem to make it stick, a well-planned out cleaning routine that fell apart almost immediately, the creative projects that sit mocking us from our various doom piles, or just another extended period of time where we lost our motivation and inspiration, the “shoulds” start rolling in like fog from The Mist.

I should be further along by now. I should have been more consistent. I shouldn’t have let myself get to the point of burnout again. I should have known better.

We carry so much useless guilt for our off-seasons and downtime. We treat our setbacks as character flaws instead of just a necessary part of our natural cycle. If we aren’t constantly progressing (and noticeably, dang it!), we’re somehow failing at the very art of being a human. And that’s not our fault; hustle culture is constantly screaming it into our faces. Do more! Be more! Earn more! Go! Go! Go!

But the planet tells a different story: Nothing in nature blooms all year round. Nature sure as heck doesn’t apologize for dormancy. Plants don’t feel guilty for dropping their leaves or hunkering down in the cold. They just do what they need to do to protect themselves until the environment is right for them. Starting over isn’t a sign that we failed; it’s a sign that we are still here and still capable of trying, and trying again is way more badass than just never struggling, in my opinion.

So, if you’re feeling a little blah or stuck in the foggy Land of Shoulds, please don’t quit. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Taking a break isn’t a failure, and it’s certainly not the end of your story; it’s actually a brilliant, beautiful survival strategy practiced by basically all living things!

It’s a bit scary to start over, but we can do the scary things. I believe in us.

Stay kind. Stay curious <3

Nikki

Hey look! A cool plant!

The Resurrection Plant

(Selaginella lepidophylla)

Why it’s cool: Native to the Chihuahuan Desert, the Resurrection Plant (also called the False Rose of Jericho) has mastered the art of bed rot. When the desert goes bone-dry, this plant doesn’t die; it tactically retracts. It curls its fronds into a tight, brown, crunchy ball, protecting its center from the sun and wind. It can stay in this dormant, lifeless-looking state for years, losing up to 95% of its water, just riding the terrain like a little travelin’ tumbleweed.

The moment it senses moisture, it unfurls. Within a few hours of being in water, those crispy brown branches turn a lush, vibrant green. This is possible because it uses a special sugar called trehalose to act like a cellular stabilizer, essentially freezing its cells in place so they don’t break while they’re dry. Isn’t that fascinating?

The Lesson: Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is curl up and protect your core. We judge ourselves for our dry spells, when we feel uninspired, exhausted, or just meh.

But the Resurrection Plant reminds us that dormancy is a survival strategy, not a defeat. Curling up is never quitting; it’s preserving your precious energy until the environment is right. When the nourishment returns, through acts such as rest, addressing your physical health, or a little self-compassion, you will bounce back. You still have all that awesomeness saved up inside that quiet, protected ball just waiting to burst open and inspire awe!

Some things I found interesting and thought you might too

• Science shows that experiencing wonder, like looking at a sunset or great art, quiets your inner critic and lowers stress for days.

• Consistent mindfulness can actually make your brain appear nearly 6 years younger than your actual age. It’s the ultimate internal self-care routine.

• New research on self-compassion proves that asking “How would I treat a friend right now?” could reduce suicidal ideation in adolescents.

• You don’t have to be an artist to benefit from creating. Recent insights show that “micro-creative” acts such as doodling or gardening provide an instant mood boost.

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  It’s never too late to be who you might have been. – George Eliot

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